You ever have a week where nothing seems to go right? A terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad week? My friends, that week has been upon me, and lo, what an exciting week it has been! Since last Monday I have broken:
-My nice companionable headphones of the past six months (That repeatedly-superglued crack just couldn’t withstand the pressure of keeping up with my busy and exciting life.)
-The sidearm of my glasses (Lorgnettes are due for a comeback, don’t you think?)
-The sole of my shoe (Mighty chilly walking on the snow, let me tell you.)
-My train line (You can’t tell me that the signal malfunction at Kings Highway, rendering me 45 minutes late after waiting for a bus—teeth chattering as I busily commiserated with a small girl about how cold it was—followed by a subway which closed its doors in my face then finally another subway…was someone else’s fault? No, sir! My breaking powers are increasing exponentially!)
Plus, last Tuesday night I acquired a tiny splinter in the bottom of my foot. So tiny, in fact, that I can’t really see it, or, as a result, extricate it. But I can feel it there wedged within my sole, my constant companion. With friends like these…
Inquiring words-words-words want to know: What will I break tonight? Or tomorrow? The Federal Courthouse? The Manhattan Bridge? Staten Island? Taking bets!
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Lornettes (intentional or otherwise) may be better than the current hipster glasses, but I have to say glasses with a sidearm would beat even those. There might be legal obstacles though. ("There's a sidearm in my glasses case and a pistol in my shoe...")
ReplyDeleteI'm surprised that New Yorkers talk to each other on the subway. Here, nobody even looks at each other on the subway, and NYers are supposed to be the most unfriendly of all.
Should have said "no sole/a big hole in my shoe", I guess.
ReplyDeleteA surprising lot of New Yorkers will talk to you on the subway. On Saturday, one engaged me in a strange discussion about doppelgangers.
ReplyDeleteYou have unprecedented breaking powers, my Numafriend. Lorgnettes do seem to be making a surprising, and quite unplanned, comeback. You, B-, Me, and someone at work all lost an earpiece to some sort of glasseswear in the past year... I think the glasses are trying to sneak their own fashion choices upon us.
ReplyDeleteBets on what happens next? Hopefully, you'll break the breaking streak...
me too: these dark times
ReplyDeletebreak train better than breakless train
but still
dang.
hop you mend